Be Kind, Being Strong, Comfort, Compassion, Support, Thankfulness, Uncategorized

Lean On Me

I have been busy lately, and haven’t had much time to blog.  Between a full time job, two part time jobs, and a serious health condition, I really have been struggling a bit.  But something happened to me this morning that hit me so hard emotionally I had to fight back tears (I was in public, after all….if I had been at home, I would have let the tears flow freely!).  It was something that others may see as insignificant, but it meant the world to me.

We were at church, and I was having a particularly rough day with my vertigo.  Several times, I stumbled, and Al supported me.  One of those times he looked at me and said, “Lean on me.”  I’m not sure why….maybe because of my stress level and worries lately…..maybe because of the new plan of treatment my doctor wants for me that scares me a bit……maybe because I was tired……maybe because I’ve been struggling so much lately……..but those three words were exactly what I needed to hear!

I know he’s always there for me.  He didn’t have to say it.  We are always there for each other.  We are each other’s best friend, so we talk about everything, knowing the other’s strengths, weaknesses, and faults.  He knows how hard things are for me, when I don’t let on to anyone else that I’m struggling.  He knows how hard I try to please others.  He knows how I use humor (we both do) to mask hurt so we don’t worry anyone else.  So of course, I know I can “lean” on him whenever I need him (daily!), and he leans on me every day too!  But to hear it today….it was exactly what I needed.

Sometimes our stressful minds play tricks on us, and we become our own worst enemy, feeling that we are alone.  Hearing someone say something as simple as “lean on me” has a way of snapping us back to reality.  We really are loved.  We really do have support.

How many of us have friends or family that we lean on, or who lean on us?  Do we ever reassure them that we are there for them?  Probably not, but maybe we should.  Sometimes hearing it is comforting, and can lift our spirits.  Sometimes just hearing those words is all we need. I’ve read many quotes about how it doesn’t matter how much you tell someone you love them if you show them.  Hearing it is just as important, as far as I’m concerned.  Feeling it AND hearing it.

As much as hearing, “lean on me,” meant to me today, I told myself I will try to be more aware and considerate of others who may need to know that I am there for them.  Don’t assume they know.  Tell them.

Be Happy, Be Kind, Comfort, Family, Kindness, Mother, Mother's Day, Relationships, Uncategorized

Celebrating Our Mothers

Mother’s Day….that bittersweet day for those of us who no longer have a mother here on Earth.  It’s a beautiful thing to celebrate our mothers….even if they are no longer with us.  There are also mother figures we can celebrate.  No one can ever take the place of our mothers, but we should consider ourselves blessed to have female friends who are there to love, guide, and protect us.

I have several female friends who I know I can reach out to for advice, a good laugh, a cry, or just to vent, and I love them for that.  They’ve come into my life at different times, when I had different needs, but they’ve remained….as part of my circle of support. They live all over the country, but I know I can pick up the phone right now, and they would be there for me.  We may have sisters, aunts, or cousins who can also be mother figures to us.

What about the single fathers out there who have no partner to help?  They deserve to be recognized as well, for being both mother and father!

While I’ve never met my ex husband’s current wife, and I doubt we would be friends, I am grateful that she seems to love and care about my children.  I know that I am their mother, and no one will ever replace me.  But why would I deny my children the opportunity of receiving more love and friendship?  Just as my husband is a very loving, supportive friend to my children, we are secure enough to know we can’t be replaced.  The more love for them, the better! You can never have enough, and my children deserve that!  But I will always be the only mother they have.

So yes, this holiday is a little rough for me.  I do the best I can, even though there are always a few tears, while I miss my mama.  I will get through it, and I will enjoy hearing from my three “babies” that day.  It’s a day worth celebrating, and showing the women in our lives how much we appreciate them.  Let’s celebrate the women we love (and who love us) this Mother’s Day….our mothers, daughters, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, step-mothers, friends…..whether they are still with us or not……whether they have children of their own or not.  The nurturing we do for one another is priceless.

To all of my female friends and family…..happy Mother’s Day!



Anxiety, Comfort, Pennies From Heaven, Uncategorized

Searching for Comfort

Do you ever see something and it makes you think of someone from your past, or someone who has died?  I assume that you have all heard about the “pennies from Heaven,” where you see a penny on the street, and it means someone who has died is sending you a message.  My mother never carried much change or currency with her, but she always had a paperclip or two in her wallet, and we would tease her about it.  So now when I see a random paper clip, I figure it’s my mother thinking about me!  That always makes me laugh because it’s pretty silly.

Also, my mother loved cardinals, so when I see one, or possibly a pair, I think she is with me….maybe even brought my dad along with her if I see two. There are a couple of cardinals that appear in our backyard quite often. It’s kind of funny how I may be needing some comfort, and suddenly, there is a cardinal! How does that happen?  Is it just a coincidence?  Maybe…..but it still provides comfort, and makes me smile.

This morning, Al and I were watching CBS Sunday Morning (my favorite show), and they were talking about a lady who had been disrespectful towards her neighbors.  She became sick, and had a change of heart.  In the story, they showed a cardinal, and Al said, “See?  Your mom was there to help her!”  It’s funny how he only met her briefly once…..many years ago……but he has embraced the feelings we all had for my mother through our stories and memories.  He knows how good she was, and now he also thinks of her when he sees a cardinal!

When I’m near the water or hear certain jazz music, I think of my father, who loved the sea, and the big bands of the 1940’s.  When I eat certain foods, I think about my grandparents.  But those cardinals just seem to appear at the right times!  The Beatles sang, “When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”  Well, my mother was Mary, and I do believe she comes to me when I’m struggling, in the form of a cardinal.  After my mother died, I couldn’t sit through church without getting upset.  Certain hymns or scriptures could send me straight to tears.  I do okay now, but the cardinals are the strongest symbol I have of my mother.

Lately, life has been a struggle for different reasons.  I’m supposed to be avoiding stress, but circumstances and other people make that impossible.  A serious health condition, a heavy workload, bills, negativity, dishonesty, manipulative people, horrible things on the news, divisiveness, worrying about my children……..these things always weigh on me.  I want to fix things.  I want people to understand each other.  I want everyone to respect everyone.  I want to be completely healed.  I’ve been looking for cardinals lately, and haven’t seen any.   I need the comfort of that bright red bird, giving me the comfort that I feel when I think my mama is nearby.  A mother’s love and comfort is like no other.

The first day of spring is coming up, and I always look at this season as a time of new beginnings.  I will be spending more time on the back porch, looking for the cardinals, who will come to comfort me, and let me know that it’s all going to be okay.  With their presence, they let me know that everything will be fine.  This too shall pass.  We will survive.  Be patient.  Don’t be afraid to do what is right.  Start taking better care of myself.  Ignore the hate and negativity.  I am loved.

What is it that comforts you?  What reminds you of loved ones who are no longer with us?  Is it a song?  A certain type of food?  A television show?