I’m a crier. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m tired. I cry when I’m in pain. I cry when I worry. I cry when I’m angry. I cry when I miss someone. I cry when I feel sentimental. I can’t help it. Sometimes it makes me mad! I wish I could control it better, especially when I’m angry. It can get embarrassing at times, but when I’m mad, it really just makes it even worse! My mother was a crier, and my sisters and I used to tease her about it, or get embarrassed. I’m convinced I jinxed myself because I’m 1000 times worse than she was (I think).
When I’m mad and crying, the person I’m angry with either thinks it’s funny, or feels superior, as if they’ve conquered me, and that I’m weak. Of course, those types of people are really just bullies, and their motives are to make people feel weak and helpless. I am not weak and helpless. In fact, I”m a pretty strong woman, as was my mother. I have learned that tears are not a sign of weakness. Tears are merely a sign of being able to feel completely. To be able to shut that off would have helped me in a lot of situations, but it also would be the end of me being able to feel every emotion as intensely as I do. I’m not sure I want that. If I stopped crying when I’m angry, I may not laugh as heartily, with my silly snorts and not being able to catch my breath. If I didn’t cry when I’m angry, I may not feel the same compassion I feel now for others. Or, I may have a cold personality, and not be able to express myself with any warmth at all.
People who antagonize someone, or try to push someone to the point of being angry are nothing but bullies…..or assholes……take your pick! They find it fun to upset someone, and make them feel embarrassed when they start to cry, or attempt to fight back tears. Yes, they are bullies, and have no feelings or compassion for anyone else. I’ve been in that situation a few times. It’s hard, and my voice shakes, and I cry. I’m not afraid…..I’m just feeling that emotion with great intensity! It isn’t easy at all to deal with, but I feel sorry for them in that they don’t really feel anything at all. How can they enjoy or appreciate life?
Tears and emotions are okay. It is sometimes embarrassing, and we end up spending a lot of money on tissues! When I laugh so hard I cry (and snort), it’s a wonderful feeling! My kids will make me laugh at something, and I laugh harder and harder…..becoming silent, to where I can’t catch my breath. Then they say, “Oh no! She’s going to snort!” And sure enough, I always do! Through my tears, I snort like a pig, which makes everyone laugh harder! That’s embarrassing too, but at least I get a good belly laugh!
I have decided that I will not feel ashamed of this trait I inherited. It’s me. It’s real. It’s sincere. It’s who I am. I feel with great intensity, and I’m thankful for that. Life is too short to have to try to hide who we really are. I should feel thankful that my mother and father taught me how to express emotions, and communicate my feelings in a healthy way.
Tears are okay. Tears are not a sign of weakness. Tears are a sign of a healthy spirit. Criers unite! Stand up to jerks who see you as weak, with your healthy tears. Have a good healthy cry today! And those of you who may look at us as though we are too emotional or weak……I’m sorry you see us that way, and if it makes you feel superior to us, you are wrong. I’m sorry you are not able to feel as deeply as some of the rest of us.