Yesterday I was putting on my earrings to go on a lunch date with my husband, and decided on some larger silver hoops. It reminded me of an article I had read recently about what women over 40 should or shouldn’t wear…..as dictated by women in their 20’s and 30’s. The article was written by a woman who was frustrated by this direction, and I completely agreed! I have read the articles…..”What Women Over 40 Should Never Wear…..” No large hoop earrings, no tattoos, no skirts over the knee, no sleeveless tops, no blue eye shadow, no leggings, etc. etc. etc. I admit, I used to be guilty of these unfair statements too, but thankfully, I have grown, and realized that maybe I wasn’t comfortable with myself then. I am definitely getting more and more comfortable now, and this has made me less judgmental of others.
My mother’s sister, my Aunt Joy, was a wonderful woman, who marched to the beat of her own drummer. She was highly intelligent (an English teacher), loved to read, tell stories, and spend time with her family. She wore clothes that made her feel comfortable……I’m picturing tie-dyed mumus……she drove a moped around Wichita when she was in her 50’s, and at times, her hair may be blue or purple (before it was trendy to do this). She was always a lot of fun to be around. I miss her a lot. One of the reasons I loved and respected her so much was because she did what made her feel good, without hurting anyone else. Why should anyone else care?
I had a friend who used to be very annoyed and critical of any woman 30 or over who referred to a man as a “boyfriend.” Why was that her business? Why should it bother her? If a woman in her 80’s wants to have a boyfriend, why is it offensive to anyone else? If a couple feels young and in love, and wants to use the term “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” that’s their choice, no matter how old they are.
It is no one else’s decision (or business) how we dress, or what we call our significant other. When a woman in her 20’s or 30’s tells me I can’t wear hoop earrings because I’m over 40, it makes me want to wear bigger hoops. It makes me want to dye my hair blue, wear mumus, and drive a moped. If a woman is 80 years old and wants to wear a mini-skirt and go-go boots because it makes her feel good, then that is her choice, and I will applaud her for not being afraid to be herself. It may look crazy. It may even look a bit inappropriate. It may not feel comfortable to everyone, but if it is comfortable to that woman, then why should it matter to anyone else?
Be yourself. Do what makes you comfortable. As long as you aren’t hurting someone, then it’s okay to be you. Do you. So, damnit, wear those hoop earrings!